What's the hurry?????

Christmas has got to be the busiest and most irritating time of the year, the first step of course is getting home in one piece, and anyone who's traveled by the Mangalore-Udupi express buses will know it's no mean feat. The bus rides are definitely not for the faint-hearted. Besides, it is advisable not to eat anything for at least 2 hours before getting into these buses. And unless you're a death race enthusiast, never sit right next to the driver even if it’s the last seat on the bus.
So after two torturous hours of muttering prayers for making it alive this Christmas, I land at my uncle's place only to have my darling cousin, Aaron, dump a two inch thick pile of invitations on me. "Wow, that's a pretty thin pile isn't it", I mutter to no one in particular. "Ah, don't worry Yuls", Aaron chirps, a little too sweetly, "Those are just the ones addressed personally to your dad, there's another pile of invites addressed to the whole family, and you've got to attend those as well"
After a lot of excuses of I-got-lots-of-assignments and need-to-get-to-Mangalore-ASAP, us four cousins decide to go for a 'distant' relative's roce so that we could meet a lot of 'close' relatives who thankfully end up at all possible functions. Saves us the headache of visiting each one in turn. Now a roce is a weird mangie wedding tradition quite similar to a Hindu haldi ceremony. It normally takes place a day or so before the wedding and involves dunking a whole lot of coconut milk on the bride or groom, depending on who's side of the family you're from.
Recent additions by the mean, wicked, scheming band of siblings and cousins would be tomato juice (stinks real bad), eggs (this part is fun!!) and beer (considered a waste by the uncles and encouraged by the aunties, "oh, its much better, at least it reduces the booze") Oh yes, it's a lot of fun alright, except for the poor souls at the receiving end- the bride, groom, best man and bridesmaid. Why am I sympathizing with them? Well, I was the bridesmaid at my cousins wedding a year ago so I should know.
Right so there I was all geared up to meet "The Shet Khandan" of which I am a part. Yes, I know my surname's D'Souza so what’s with the Shet part? Well, D'Souza has got to be the most common catholic surname in Mangalore and all the D'Souzas, yes all of them, unfortunately are very proud people who like to think they are unique. Hence the Shet (pronounced shay-t) factor. And yes there is some long story as to why we got that name which I don't quite know properly because I never listened to all those uncles droning on and on in their boring talks. And the khandan part, well trust me the family's huge, real huge. Heck even I don't know all of them but I can be excused, I’ve only been in the country fulltime for the last two years and most of it has been spent in hostels and PGs.
Once I got through the round of meeting all the uncles and aunts and of course seeking their blessings (you'll be cursed if you forget to do that, apparently) I thought I'd sit down for a while and sort out who’s who (yes, I’m still confused, give me a break guys, when it comes to names I’m an amnesiac and this is one huge family) That's when I bumped into Ally. Ally's the one who got married last year, I was her bridesmaid. We had a lot of catching up to do. Problem was, no one warned me that marriage changes a girl drastically, Ally, who was a really fun person up until last year has turned into a different creature who eerily reminds me of my mum. You know, the sit-straight-legs-down-behave-like-a-girl lectures that mothers love to give, suddenly that’s what she's become.
"Cut it out Al, you're beginning to sound a lot like Mum"
"Yea, well I might as well start practicing. Two years back, the only question I was asked was when are you getting married. Now that I'm married, they're ready with the next question, when are you giving us some good news?"
I didn't want to be mean but I couldn't help laughing, and boy did Ally look like she wanted to strangle me for that.
That's when Ally turns into the villain of my oh-so-happy life story, "So how old are you now?"
"Uh...19"
"Ah, good so you've got about 6 more years."
"Huh??!! No, I've got only 2 more years in college. How 6?"
"Oh, no, I meant 6 more years until you get married"
"WHAT???!!!"
OK, I have no idea where that came out from. For heavens sake, I'm still in college, getting married hasn't even crossed my mind, but apparently everyone else has been making plans. As Ally explained later, since I'm the eldest girl, all my dear relatives will start giving me lectures just as I reach 23.
Freaky, yes. Scary, definitely.
What’s the hurry people?
But there's no way I was going to give Ally the satisfaction of having scared me.
"Come on Ally, you know me, there's no way I'm getting married so darn soon." that was a last ditch attempt at bravado.
"And why not???", demands an aunt who decides this is the perfect time to make a grand entry(read 'butt her nose') into a conversation that doesn't concern her at all according to me. The Manglorean aunt is a very rare species who believes it is her birthright to eavesdrop on her nephews and nieces, and their kids as well. They go about forever dispelling advice and demand your complete attention no matter what. If your aunt decides she wants to talk to you, you're expected to drop everything you do and pay rapt attention to every 'priceless' word she utters. Disobedience could cost you dearly; you'll be getting lectures from your parents about respecting your aunts, in addition to the lecture from your aunt which she's determined to give at all costs.
Getting back to aunty dear's question, and trying to ignore that evil smirk on Ally's face,
"Why not?? As of right now aunty, I can give you two simple but effective reasons, I'll think up of more later. One, I'm just 19, I'm still in college, it's my time to enjoy myself not think about marriage. Two, I'll be 21 by the time I graduate, add another two years for post graduation and I’m gonna be 23 or 24 by the time I'm through with studying. There's absolutely no way I'm getting married so soon after that so please cut me some slack (FYI, the conversation with my aunt was carried out in Konkani and I'm trying my best to give a decent translation)
"Humph!!", retorts the aunt," The problem with you girls these days is that you're too involved in your careers. Back when I was your age, girls would get married right after they finished school. Sometimes I feel education is ruining your future"
"Of course Aunty, but times are different now right?"
"You kids are too stubborn for your own good"
Thankfully Aunty dearest was called away to help in something right then and I was spared the ordeal of fighting a losing battle with her.
Ally seemed to enjoy watching me suffer.
"So Ally. had fun watching me getting the third degree?"
"Oh stop cribbing, you might as well get used to it. Been there done that, there's no escaping it. I got through my share. It's your turn now.", and she flashes that devilish grin again.