Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Rise of the Barbarians

Welcome to Mangalore. A formerly little known town in coastal Karnataka which has always been overshadowed by big brother Bangalore. Not anymore, Mangaloreans are so sick and tired of being virtual unknowns, that some of us decided it’s high time people noticed our location on the map. All thanks to the saffron brigade for helping Mangalore get noticed.
First the attacks on Christians and now moral policing. “Moral policing”, interesting term isn’t it? What gives these people the right to dictate what constitutes our culture and morals? These barbarians were beating up girls, what sort of morals does that reflect? According to them, girls were not properly dressed and dancing obscenely, so these guys decide they have the right to molest them, sheesh!!
So what now? Am I not allowed to go out with my friends for a couple of drinks just because I’m a girl? Am i supposed to stay away from my friends just because they are Muslims or Hindus? Democracy is anyhow virtually extinct, pretty soon secularism will be wiped out if these goons have their way. 60 years of calling ourselves a democracy and we're still somewhere in the dark ages, how else can you explain such immature, barbaric behavior?
Well i’m not going to let some brainwashed hooligans with IQs the size of an egg cup dictate how i’m supposed to live. I don't care if my friends a Hindu or a Muslim. What difference should it make as long as they’re decent humans? My life is the one thing that i own totally, no one else has a right over it. So I’m the only one who can decide what i do, what i wear and who i go out with. I can be who i want to be and no one can take that away from me. And if anyone has a problem with that, it’s high time they grow up.

P.S: anyone interested in creating a game online where you score points on banging the goons? remember the 'throw the shoe at bush' game ;-)

Friday, January 23, 2009

Size Zero?????

This year started out pretty great for me. For the first time ever I didn’t have to bother about fitting into a dress. I’ve always been a wee bit on the heavier side since childhood so I’d normally shun those oh-so-cute-n-sexy dresses that are so blatantly displayed in all stores come the new year. But like I said, I didn’t have to bother this year, all thanks to an extremely successful exercise regime I’ve been religiously following the last 7 months. Since it’s worked so well for me, I think it’s only right that I share it with those friends of mine who could some help in that department. Mostly because it’s a highly successful but little known programme.
Now I must warn you that the trainers in this regime are very hard taskmasters. And the first few days leave you aching all over. I normally start it off at 7.30 in the morning. Depending on how late I am, warm up varies from a brisk walk to an all out run and ends with a jump on to a one square foot board. Now starts the tricky part and this took me a long time to master. You’re standing on a board suspended about 4 to 5 feet off the ground and the boards moving in all possible directions. To make matters worse, you’re not the only one going through this torturous routine, there have to be at least 50 odd people crammed in all around you at the same time. So you’ve got to learn to maintain your balance and not fall on the others. This part tends to put everyone in a bad mood. So if you’re not used to hurling abuses at people, you better carry a pair of ear plugs.
Like I mentioned earlier, this is an all out workout routine that exercises all parts at once. Upper body work outs include holding on to railings attached to the ceiling. Thanks to all the swaying around of the floor, you’ve got to use your hands to stay in one place, though I admit there have been several times when I felt like my arm was being ripped out of its socket. Oh, I forgot to mention. This routine also involves a very unpleasant massage. It mostly involves being poked in the back, elbows jabbed into your ribs and stomach, and not to forget, people stepping all over your toes. It’s going to leave you black n blue all over. I come home every day with really colourful bruises but I’m pretty much used to it now.The last 2 minutes involve kicking, pushing and pulling people around so that you can make it to the door on time. Good way to learn how to get out of crowds.
I admit it sounds really painful but trust me it’s worth it. I’ve tried all sorts of diets before and none of them worked. But this is the only regime that allows me to eat everything I want and still lose weight. And the best part, it only lasts for 20 minutes!!!! No more slogging at the gym for hours just to lose a couple of kgs.
For those of you who’re interested in trying this out, these centres are pretty easy to locate.
Just walk down the road and jump into a public transport bus during peak hours. You’ll get the best work out money can buy. I'm still working towards achieving the perfect figure;-)

Monday, January 12, 2009

One Dark Night.....

New Years supposed to start with a bang right???? Well the party on new year's eve was fun but i think 2009 decided to enter my life shaken not stirred.......I need to stay away from those martinis....
NOTE:The following is based on a true incident that occured a few days ago. I have however taken the liberty of changing the names of the people involved since I have no intention of getting whipped in public. One more thing, i've been told the narraive gets boring in the middle. I've tried making amends but if its stll a bore let me know.

It was about 8.30 in the evening. In this part of the world it's pretty late. A bunch of students (me included) had just left a pretty well known college somewhere near Manipal after attending an inter-collegiate event. We were all worn out but then, when your having fun, you don't notice it. Now all of the girls' cell phones were ringing nonstop courtesy of our anxious parents since all of us had to get to manglore and thats a good 2 hours journey by bus. A few of the guys were chivalrous enough to leave the party early so that they could escort us home, they had no intention of letting the girls travel alone this late appearenty though I'm pretty sure that wasn't the only reason.
So there we were at the bus stop praying for a bus to come by soon. The bus came all right but I'm pretty sure the conductor got the shock of his life to see a bunch of 30 youngsters rushing in. That was one of the last buses for the evening and none of us wanted to be left behind. After settling in, we were out to ruin the sleep of the other passengers but screaming and shouting at the top of our voices, well what else can you expect? We were having fun.
The road from manipal to manglore is pretty scary, because the area is sparsely populated and street lights are found only at junctions. Everythings going all hunky dory until the engine starts sputtering. Now that starts giving Ria, Hina and Vinny the jitters coz the three of them had just missed being seriously injured in a bus accident the previous day. Some of the other pasengers weren't so lucky. The bus moves fine for a while but then starts making odd noises again. Ria starts panicking. Ash tries calming her down but Ria just gets more agitated.Pretty soon she's screaming and crying that she wants to get off the bus. The bus rolls to a stop and Ria jumps out that instant totally refusing to get back on the bus.The bus didnt look like it was going to start again so we all trooped out.
We had absolutely no idea where we were, no street lights or signs around anywhere. A few minutes later the conductor asked us to get in coz the engine was up and running. Ria didn't want to and we couldn't just leave her and go. So the guys requested the conductor to wait for a while until another bus came along.
Nope he didnt wait, the bus went off and we were stranded in the middle of no where. Needless to say, most of the girls started freaking out. The scene might as well have been out of some horror movie.A dark road in the middle of the jungle, no light for miles around, and boy was it chilly.
The guys finally decided to get serious. Since our group was the first to leave, Adi tried calling up the others to see if they'd left yet. Fortunately they hadn't but they were still an hour away. There wasn't much we could do. Neeta and I were actually having fun,couldn't help it. We both love the outdoors and are always game for adventure, adds some spice to an otherwise boring life. The situation would actually be pretty hilarious if it wasn't for the fact that Ria was getting hysterical.
"What now?" I asked Adi. "Well I spoke to the guys, they said they'd arrange a vehicle for you girls. Once we send you off safely we'll jump into another bus. Till then I think it'll be a good idea to walk back to the last junction. No one's gonna be able to able to see us here."
"We could stop a passing bus and get in," Ali chips in.
"yeah right, you any bus passing by is gonna be speeding. you expect them to stop?"
"Any harm in trying?"
Ali tries being the daredevil and starts a curious jig in the middle of the road once he spots a bus. Didn't work.
9.30 and still no sign of any vehicle. We'd been stranded for about 30 mins by then. Finally another bus comes by. It's crowded but the guys force us in. Ria'd calmed down by then but was still pretty upset. Anyhow, she agreed to get in and the rest of the jouney was quite uneventful. Reached manglore at round 10.30. Yes the others did get quite a lecture. Me, well, I'm enjoying the advantages of living alone. If my parents ever find out i'm pretty sure they're gonna ban me from outstation trips, but then who's gonna tell them?;-)
Still, I enjoyed the new year.