What's the hurry?????

Christmas has got to be the busiest and most irritating time of the year, the first step of course is getting home in one piece, and anyone who's traveled by the Mangalore-Udupi express buses will know it's no mean feat. The bus rides are definitely not for the faint-hearted. Besides, it is advisable not to eat anything for at least 2 hours before getting into these buses. And unless you're a death race enthusiast, never sit right next to the driver even if it’s the last seat on the bus.
So after two torturous hours of muttering prayers for making it alive this Christmas, I land at my uncle's place only to have my darling cousin, Aaron, dump a two inch thick pile of invitations on me. "Wow, that's a pretty thin pile isn't it", I mutter to no one in particular. "Ah, don't worry Yuls", Aaron chirps, a little too sweetly, "Those are just the ones addressed personally to your dad, there's another pile of invites addressed to the whole family, and you've got to attend those as well"
After a lot of excuses of I-got-lots-of-assignments and need-to-get-to-Mangalore-ASAP, us four cousins decide to go for a 'distant' relative's roce so that we could meet a lot of 'close' relatives who thankfully end up at all possible functions. Saves us the headache of visiting each one in turn. Now a roce is a weird mangie wedding tradition quite similar to a Hindu haldi ceremony. It normally takes place a day or so before the wedding and involves dunking a whole lot of coconut milk on the bride or groom, depending on who's side of the family you're from.
Recent additions by the mean, wicked, scheming band of siblings and cousins would be tomato juice (stinks real bad), eggs (this part is fun!!) and beer (considered a waste by the uncles and encouraged by the aunties, "oh, its much better, at least it reduces the booze") Oh yes, it's a lot of fun alright, except for the poor souls at the receiving end- the bride, groom, best man and bridesmaid. Why am I sympathizing with them? Well, I was the bridesmaid at my cousins wedding a year ago so I should know.
Right so there I was all geared up to meet "The Shet Khandan" of which I am a part. Yes, I know my surname's D'Souza so what’s with the Shet part? Well, D'Souza has got to be the most common catholic surname in Mangalore and all the D'Souzas, yes all of them, unfortunately are very proud people who like to think they are unique. Hence the Shet (pronounced shay-t) factor. And yes there is some long story as to why we got that name which I don't quite know properly because I never listened to all those uncles droning on and on in their boring talks. And the khandan part, well trust me the family's huge, real huge. Heck even I don't know all of them but I can be excused, I’ve only been in the country fulltime for the last two years and most of it has been spent in hostels and PGs.
Once I got through the round of meeting all the uncles and aunts and of course seeking their blessings (you'll be cursed if you forget to do that, apparently) I thought I'd sit down for a while and sort out who’s who (yes, I’m still confused, give me a break guys, when it comes to names I’m an amnesiac and this is one huge family) That's when I bumped into Ally. Ally's the one who got married last year, I was her bridesmaid. We had a lot of catching up to do. Problem was, no one warned me that marriage changes a girl drastically, Ally, who was a really fun person up until last year has turned into a different creature who eerily reminds me of my mum. You know, the sit-straight-legs-down-behave-like-a-girl lectures that mothers love to give, suddenly that’s what she's become.
"Cut it out Al, you're beginning to sound a lot like Mum"
"Yea, well I might as well start practicing. Two years back, the only question I was asked was when are you getting married. Now that I'm married, they're ready with the next question, when are you giving us some good news?"
I didn't want to be mean but I couldn't help laughing, and boy did Ally look like she wanted to strangle me for that.
That's when Ally turns into the villain of my oh-so-happy life story, "So how old are you now?"
"Uh...19"
"Ah, good so you've got about 6 more years."
"Huh??!! No, I've got only 2 more years in college. How 6?"
"Oh, no, I meant 6 more years until you get married"
"WHAT???!!!"
OK, I have no idea where that came out from. For heavens sake, I'm still in college, getting married hasn't even crossed my mind, but apparently everyone else has been making plans. As Ally explained later, since I'm the eldest girl, all my dear relatives will start giving me lectures just as I reach 23.
Freaky, yes. Scary, definitely.
What’s the hurry people?
But there's no way I was going to give Ally the satisfaction of having scared me.
"Come on Ally, you know me, there's no way I'm getting married so darn soon." that was a last ditch attempt at bravado.
"And why not???", demands an aunt who decides this is the perfect time to make a grand entry(read 'butt her nose') into a conversation that doesn't concern her at all according to me. The Manglorean aunt is a very rare species who believes it is her birthright to eavesdrop on her nephews and nieces, and their kids as well. They go about forever dispelling advice and demand your complete attention no matter what. If your aunt decides she wants to talk to you, you're expected to drop everything you do and pay rapt attention to every 'priceless' word she utters. Disobedience could cost you dearly; you'll be getting lectures from your parents about respecting your aunts, in addition to the lecture from your aunt which she's determined to give at all costs.
Getting back to aunty dear's question, and trying to ignore that evil smirk on Ally's face,
"Why not?? As of right now aunty, I can give you two simple but effective reasons, I'll think up of more later. One, I'm just 19, I'm still in college, it's my time to enjoy myself not think about marriage. Two, I'll be 21 by the time I graduate, add another two years for post graduation and I’m gonna be 23 or 24 by the time I'm through with studying. There's absolutely no way I'm getting married so soon after that so please cut me some slack (FYI, the conversation with my aunt was carried out in Konkani and I'm trying my best to give a decent translation)
"Humph!!", retorts the aunt," The problem with you girls these days is that you're too involved in your careers. Back when I was your age, girls would get married right after they finished school. Sometimes I feel education is ruining your future"
"Of course Aunty, but times are different now right?"
"You kids are too stubborn for your own good"
Thankfully Aunty dearest was called away to help in something right then and I was spared the ordeal of fighting a losing battle with her.
Ally seemed to enjoy watching me suffer.
"So Ally. had fun watching me getting the third degree?"
"Oh stop cribbing, you might as well get used to it. Been there done that, there's no escaping it. I got through my share. It's your turn now.", and she flashes that devilish grin again.

Hey Senor Santa Claus!!!!

Dear Santa
It's been almost ten years since I last wrote to you. A long time, I know. So how have you been keeping. Yes, I know it's your busy time of the year and as usual you'll reply only after Christmas but don't worry, I'll wait for your reply. Now you must be wondering why I suddenly decided to write to you after such a long time, but the reason's quite obvious isn't it? I want some presents this year. Now don't you dare say I'm being selfish, I haven't asked you for a thing the last ten years. And hey, you didn't answer my question last time around. How come your handwriting's almost like dad's? Now don't say it's not. Dad's handwriting is really distinct. Very few people can manage to decipher that scrawl.
Right so what do I want this year? I can think up of a lot of things, but I'm not going to bother you with that. A little hard work on my part and I can get the stuff I want. What I want is not something I can buy off the street. I could use a little divine intervention here. That's where you come in St. Nick(why don't people just call you St. Nick?It sounds way cuter than Santa).
I could do with two little things, and they both involve time.
First, could you like, add a few extra hours in a day? I could really use them. 20 hours don't seem enough(hey i need a minimum of 4 hours of shut eye don't I?). I'm not kidding. Not like I don't know how to manage time. I can do that pretty well(I think). But I could use a couple of extra hours of sleep.
Second,(and this is more important) is there any way to stop time for a while and go on rewind? Especially when i feel time's running too fast? Maybe you could get me a Time-turner. Because I'd really like to do a rewind and replay some of the best scenes of my life, but as a viewer, mind you. I don't want to grow younger, I just want to see a few things again. Like those times....
-when bedtime meant a story from Dad. Yes, I know most of the stories never made sense but they were fun anyway.
-the times my brother and I would irritate Mum to the core. I still remember that one huge bowl of cornflakes that she'd force into us every morning. And that's one bowl for the two of us, how else could she manage to feed two hyperactive kids? She seriously deserves an award for all the running around she did to prevent potential disasters from occurring all over the house.
-the time I won all those prizes in school, back then, getting a prize was something special.
- climbing on to Dad's shoulders and feeling like I was on top of the world.
- those long drives on the mountains that Dad would take us on in the rains and the breathtaking views out of the windows.
- swimming on the beach and building sand castles just to watch them being washed away by the tide.
-learning to swim on the beach and trying to avoid all the "goan sausages" as my cousin would call them.
-camping out with friends and going trekking.
-Mum's futile attempts to teach me crochet work and embroidery during school vacations(that does not mean that I can't manage a needle and thread).
-racing on my cycle and feeling the breeze through my hair (I never found out who stole it, and it was my favorite cycle)
-seeing my baby brother for the first time.
-all those lectures from mum and dad about how they never had things as easy as we did. I actually miss those lectures now, who would have thought;-)
-playing bluff with the whole band of cousins. Last time around it was 16 of us and we needed three packs of cards.

Well I wouldn't want to bore you with all of this. I know you are a busy guy. But you know what, I'm beginning to have second thoughts. Somehow I seem to be having more fun remembering all of this. I don't think I need a time turner. And I could do without all those dirty footprints that you tend to leave all over the place. But hey, it was nice writing to you again. And hope to hear from you soon.
MERRY CHRISTMAS!!

Have a Heart?

The recent spate of violence all over the country has upset a vast majority of us, even those who weren't directly involved. The most recent of course is the terrorist attack in Mumbai. The fact that the terrorists gained such easy access to such prominent hotels is enough to scare the living daylights out of anyone. The loss of so many innocent lives is very disheartening, and yet another thing that gnaws at my mind is the statement that we Indians are a resilient lot, we manage to bounce back to normal routine soon.
Granted the fact that none of us likes to dwell on such issues for long, we try getting into our normal routine to get over our grief. But is this becoming a habit? Have we started accepting such brutal violence as a part of our lives?
I've lost count of the number of bombings and attacks both communal and terrorist that have taken place in India in the last two years itself. It seems to be the same story everytime. Sure the day the bombings take place, all the local people are united, they help each other out. That's good, but what after that? The government announces a paltry sum to the victims as compensation and most of the time even that rarely reaches the right hands. After that starts the blame game by the netas, all their empty promises, the speeches of 'if we were in power we would have done so and so'. Who's concerned about the grieving families? And in a couple of weeks its all forgotten about, the news channels get something new.
We've grown so used to all the violence that we seem to be practically immune to it now. I recall an incident that took place a few years ago that clearly drove that point home. On my way back home i'd come across an accident between a truck and a car. The car was a mangled wreck and quite obviously, the driver didn't survive. And yes there was a lot of blood over the place.The traffic was moving pretty slowly as they had to manoeuvre around the crash. A school bus was passing by and i doubt those kids were any more than about 12 years of age. I expected them to be upset by the sight, i knew i was, yet the only exclamation i heard from them when they saw the wreck was 'cool!!' That was not a reaction i ever thought i'd hear for an accident. But i guess that's the kind of world we live in now. We see so much of fighting, bloodshed all around us that we just kind of switch off the emotions that come up. Its just that initial; reaction, after that, time to get on with it.
I not sure if what i've just said is true. I sincerely hope its not, because if it was, if we didn't have a heart, we'd cease to be human right? But even with all this, we still come across people who are willing to reach out, who feel the pain that others do. Sure we all feel it, it's just that it takes that extra ounce of courage to reach out. So inspite of it all, there's always hope....... And lets not forget all those bravehearts who gave their lives, they deserve to be remembered.
ciao ;-)